BTW, email me. There are expatriated Krewe members in Cincinnatti….

These are the words of Loki. Recently married gentleman born and raised NOLA-style. He went back to NOLA as soon as possible after Katrina and dedicated himself and his resources to rebuilding. I read his blog “Humid City” every day in digest form by email. Over the past 15 months I’ve heard the futility and the frustration seeping into his words and today his post has spurned me to write.

He quoted another blog: Metroblogging New Orleans: Pondering and proximity, which states about another such poster who also has committed to stay and a “block-by-block” local action for the rebuild. These are intelligent, independent and committed individuals who love NOLA and believe in their heart-of-hearts that she needs to rise again. But I don’t think anyone though it would be this hard.

And it probably wouldn’t…but there is that quote that started this post:

“We have created a generation without remorse and given them a Mad Max style wasteland to live out their Lord of the Flies fantasies in.”

Indeed we have. I lived in New Orleans and love her city. I love her energy, her way of pushing people until they transcended their own humanity or left, or died. I love her music, her coagulation of the creative; artists, singers, performance and theater people. It was a carnival town as well as a carnivale town and all of the members from the side show, to the flying trapeze to the management were in residence in the off season.

New Orleans remains the only place I can say that I live with my heart wide open. No mask. On my two trips back since Katrina, as soon as my feet touched NOLA dirt there was a huge sigh of relief by my soul. It relaxed, and for the duration of my trip, I didn’t need to worry about keeping appearances up so that I would mix in with humanity. NOLA is a place that allows my wings to spread, my teeth to sharpen and my blood to run shimmeringly black. I love New Orleans and I want to protect her, but when I was there and talked she reminded me of a rape victim who wants to hide herself away from further trauma and to try and heal, but in that process something truly went wrong and she’s in this bad relationship with bad people who continue to hurt her.

I live in Ohio now and since 1998 I’ve tried to find an opening for my return to NOLA. I almost had it in 2005…and then the storm happened. Now I can’t find adequate housing for me and my 8 year old, even IF there were schools to educate her and jobs to help pay for it. NOLA is about as far away from being my place of residence as it can be…but it’s still home to my heart.

When I lived there were these sections of the city you just didn’t go. When I got shot, I got nudged into one of them. They were bad places filled with bad people, taught be bad people to be bad. The housing projects were such that they made the projects of Compton, CA look like country club resorts. Poverty was learned as an occupation. Hustling
as the side game. I was very glad that I didn’t have to live in one of those places, but that didn’t prevent me from imagining what it was like, as a child to come of age in one of them. It would have been so removed from the American Dream.

When the Katrina fiasco was in full swing I remember hearing about the looting that was happening. Not just food and water, but clothes and entertainment items. It made perfect sense to me. If I had lived a whole life without having those sorts of things, and my mama has lived her whole life without them…and her mama. And all of a sudden the city’s closed down and the power is out and there are not security alarms or guards and the police has other things to worry about, then I would feel pretty damn justified in going and getting myself one of them boxes with a fancy TV. Sure, there isn’t any power, but there will be…and if there isn’t, I have something to sell to someone who has power. Either way, it’s all good by me.

I understand that underdog mentality. Couple that with the testosterone found in the 14-24 males growing up in those parts and you are right; It’s Lord of the Flies. The have found their Promised Land and they are doing what they know.

When I read about the founding of New Orleans I read about pirates and criminals and the miscreants of the New World. They stormed the city and founded it in their image. And it has always remained in the shadow of that foundation. That is one of the reasons it held our heart so tight.

Maybe in the rebuilding of New Orleans, another seizure of the city is happening by the criminals and pirates who would claim the city for their own?

And if that is the case, there are two options. Fight, using their rules, and beat them, then seize the city for your own, or leave the city to them. They will never go willingly. You are right. Most of them know the prison system and they are having too much fun. Once you have been to prison, there is always a part of you that operates on that logic. So…your rebuild efforts may be in vain, because even if you fix up every building to better than its original state, who is going to move there with that element running the outside world? And they have already proven they aren’t afraid to storm your house, kill you and take your shit.

So what is the answer? I don’t have one. I want my old New Orleans back too, but once squeezed out, the toothpaste is damn hard to get back inside to tube. Time is like that too! Things have changed. New Orleans isn’t what she used to be. There is an element that seeks to feed on her wounded body like a carrion bird, picking at her flesh when she is not yet dead. To those who would stay with her, I salute you, but I feel that unless you take the fight to a very visceral and mortal level, you will continue to feel frustrated as you watch them take her away, day by day.

Could a clear, strong, local government who is intolerant of the bullshit that has been happening make a difference? Yes, if supported by the community agencies of sheriff, police, and legal and community action to support those efforts. Right now everything is fragmented, and the vultures smell weakness.

Maybe someone should don a super-suit and a cape and become a modern-day super-hero. That is what I think we need…. A super-hero for lady Babylon!

Rise again lady New Orleans. Let me know what you need from me to aid you in any way. I miss you.