In Defense of Ladies of a Certain Age
A certain professor is riding high these days by skimming along on the jet stream left in the wake of a particular local entertainer.
It seems he is missing the point of New Orleans’ love affairs with ladies who could never exist in real life. Women like Chris Owens, Becky Allen, and Varla Jean Merman are not real. They are constructs built from various New Orleans elements we love about ourselves. So we respond. We’re helpless not to.
Chris Owens’ real gift is for entertaining people in a way that empowers them to entertain themselves. Some years back, when I was younger and knew so much more than I do today, I looked down on her as a joke. Then this one time, my older brother and his wife came to town to visit and spontaneously dragged me into her joint on Bourbon Street. Oh, how I tried to maintain my dignity, but I didn’t stand a chance. I didn’t have what it takes to resist her. By the time she pulled my brother onstage with her to sing a duet, I was laughing, clapping, and jiggin’ in my chair.
I realized then all you have to do is just sit back, relax, and let her do her job. She’ll soon have you feeling all good about yourself (like this little guy).
I ask you, what’s wrong with that?
April 17th, 2008 at 7:36 am
AMEN!
What’s that sorry Homie going to say next? He’ll probably trash Pete Fountain for not really walking in his walking club!
April 17th, 2008 at 8:05 am
I followed the link to the Professor’s web page. Whatta schmo. He obviously never studied the First Rule of French Quarter Legends; If you don’t want to see it, don’t look.
The idea that Chris Owens, or anyone else, for that matter, should stay home because he doesn’t apporove, ought to get him a one-way ticket to Branson, MO, where the Bland & Timid perform 24/7, giggling the entire time, never saying the word ‘DARN’, only miming it and making a stage whispering sound. Gee willikers.
Judging by the crowd in the photographs he posted, I suggest the Professor stay home (and help Gilligan fix the boat?) and let everyone else be entertained as they see fit.
I’m curious, Professor Drudgery, how often do that many people turn out to applaud you? I couldn’t begin to guess, because, well, I’ve never even heard of you before…neither, I’m sure, has the World Famous Chris Owens.
Lord David
Pirate & Artist
Skull Club
New Orleans
April 17th, 2008 at 8:28 am
God Bless You David!
I posted your comment on my blog. Hope you don’t mind!
April 17th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Personally, I think there’s only one way this raging controversy can end, and that’s with a tearful “Leave Chris Owens Alone!” video posted to YouTube. I’m going to Walgreen’s to pick up some mascara.
April 17th, 2008 at 11:09 am
You’re a great bear, dude. Homan deserves every blast he gets. Well done.
April 17th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Chris Owens doesn’t scare me as much as her husband does. She’s actually very nice offstage.
I think your post title should read “In Defense of Ladies of a Certain Vintage of Silicone and Collagen”
April 17th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Come on Bear, I love Becky Allen and have been a fan of hers for years. I didn’t even know Chris Owens existed until a week ago, and when I saw her I thought some voodoo priestess had brought a wax figure of Cher from Ripley’s to life and it was malfunctioning on stage. So i concluded Chris Owens is the opposite of real, she’s forced and manufactured, unlike Becky Allen.
And to Lord David the Pirate, you have no idea what you are talking about. This has nothing to do with me being a prude. And good luck with the pirate thing. Must be challenging to paint with a hook for a hand though, and your canvases must be covered in bird shit and smell like rum.
April 17th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
http://michaelhoman.blogspot.com/2008/04/my-new-nemesis-lord-david-pirate-artist.html
April 18th, 2008 at 7:38 am
I have to admit that I adore Chris Owens. I’ve never seen her show, and the only thing I’ve ever said to her is, “Hi, how nice to meet you!” However, the one time I DID see her was at Commander’s Palace, and she looked amazing, especially for a woman then in her late 60s. Plastic surgery aside, she was graceful and animated. Her suit was stunning, and she seemed to be having a genuinely great time. There was a lot of quiet laughter coming from her table, and she was very gracious when people asked to have their picture taken with her - didn’t make a scene, wasn’t showy about it, didn’t distract everyone else from their meal - just gracious.
I am AMAZED that she’s still performing into her 70s! All this just makes me want to go see her perform. I don’t find it a bit repulsive - I find it highly impressive.
April 18th, 2008 at 10:51 am
maitri beat me to the comment. . lol
i was on a treadmill next to chris owens a few years ago (she doesn’t walk, she trots) - what a sweet lady. . but i couldn’t take my eyes off her husband in his powder-blue suit. -)
Lord-David, wonderful and dear friend of mine, please do not respond to the troll.
April 18th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Termite is right, LD, don’t feed the trolls.
Obviously, he’s NoLA kulcha clueless and envious he’s not in da club.
April 20th, 2008 at 10:34 am
Yes, she looks like a character from Dr. Who, but dayum it the woman has supported the city for longer than most of us have been alive!! And we adore her for it.
If ALL of our so called celebrities would put their money where they live - this town would embrace them and possibly elect them in to public service (lol)…
Yeah her boy, lovingly called Flabio by a few is odd, but hey they’ve been together longer than most regular couples!!!