finally, a bailout plan for homeowners
At long last, a proven bailout method designed specifically for struggling homeowners and NOT wealthy wallstreet tycoons.
Here is the official five-step homeowner bailout program:
Step one: Spend most of your life struggling to pay your mortgage, to the point where your are filled with absolute despair.
Step two: At the age of 90, when you are completely out of hope, be foreclosed on and evicted by the same heartless, money-grubbing bastards who you’ve been paying ridiculous interest to for many, many years.
Step three: When the sheriff’s department shows up to remove you from your home forcibly, attempt to end your own life by shooting yourself “at least twice in the upper body.”
Step four: Become famous for being a “symbol of the nation’s mortgage crisis.”
Step five: Fannie Mae will then forgive your mortgage and sign your house over to you.
Source: http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/10/03/eviction.suicide.attempt/index.html
I’m going to go be sick now. Have a nice day.
- Louis Maistros
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October 3rd, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Aww, does that mean I don’t get my $00.39 gubment subsidy for all the wooden arrows I make. Yeah, I wanna vomit too. Can we please kill all the f’ing rich gubment people now, pleeeaaase!
October 4th, 2008 at 8:06 am
I think they actually gave him a break because he lives in the Amityville house. (get a load of that picture in the article)
October 4th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Not that it matters too much, but the 90 year old who shot herself was a woman.
And yeah that is a cool little Amityville lookin’ house.
October 4th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
oh my god! that is the most horrible and pathetic story. we always seem to get it backwards
October 4th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
yeah, but the Amityville house is in New York. It’s kinda cool to go visit, or at least it was. I think they finally tore it down…