The Nagin Joke Contest
Sep 24, 2009 by Loki
Okay now gentle (and not so gentle) readers, it’s time for a HumidCity contest. Here’s how it works:
Submit your best Ray Nagin joke by leaving it in the comments of this post. Monday morning we will stop taking entries and I will confer with the other members of the team. We will then pick our favorite as the winner. (Yes, this is a purely subjective process). Anyone who does not write for HumidCity is eligible to enter.
The winner will receive a free LiveNation Club Passport here are the details on what it is and what shows it will get you into:
The Club Passports are available for $49.99 at www.livenation.com. The all-in, no fee Club Passport lets concert fans see a number of shows at The House of Blues and the House of Blues Parish for the rest of the year, subject to availability.  Subject to availability basically means that as long as the show is not sold out, Club Passport holders can get in. Every Monday, Passport holders will be notified with a list of those participating shows and the process to reserve their tickets. Then, all the fans have to do is bring their Passport and ID to the box office.
I’ve pasted a more extensive FAQ below the cut with details cribbed from the LiveNation folks, just click the “read more”
What is the Live Nation Club Passport and how does it work?
The Live Nation Club Passport is your access to unlimited* Live Nation Club shows at participating venues in your city.
No additional fees, All-In Prices, Unlimited access to participating remaining 2009 shows!
Buy a Live Nation Club Passport for $49.99 and get:
Unlimited access to participating Live Nation Club shows that are not sold out in the market for which your passport was purchased.
Weekly and daily updates on shows you can access with your passport.
Access and reserve an available ticket to participating shows on www.livenation.com/clubpassport.
If you’re a Live Nation Club Passport holder, and the show’s not sold-out, you’re in!
How do I get day of show information for my Live Nation Club Passport?
Day of show information can be found on the venue page of LiveNation.com. This includes items that can be brought into the venue, age restrictions, parking information, and contact information.
For on-going updates on participating shows you can also follow Live Nation on Twitter and fan Live Nation on Facebook.
Will my Live Nation Club Passport be valid for private shows in my market?
All participating shows will be listed on www.livenation.com/clubpassport.
Can I purchase a Live Nation Club Passport online?
Yes, Live Nation Club Passports will be available for purchase through LiveNation.com.
What are the accepted methods of payment online for Live Nation Club Passports?
All payments must be made by credit card. Credit cards accepted are Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and Discover. Please print a copy of your purchase confirmation page for your records. An automatic email confirmation will be sent immediately to confirm the purchase of your Live Nation Club Passport.
How do I pick up a Live Nation Club Passport event ticket?
To pick up your Live Nation Club Passport event ticket you will need to have your photo id, your Live Nation Club Passport, and your purchase confirmation number. Take these items to the will call window at the venue box office. The box office attendant will check your photo id, and confirmation number and provide you with an event ticket for participating events while supplies last. The event ticket will be scanned at the door to allow you entry to the show.
How do I know where my Live Nation Club Passport tickets are located?
All Live Nation Club Passport tickets will be in the general admission section for participating events.
May I use my Live Nation Club Passport at a venue outside my market?
No, the Live Nation Club Passport is only valid in the city/ market for which it was purchased.
May I give my Live Nation Club Passport to a friend or family member?
No, the Live Nation Club Passport is non-transferable. The purchaser must show identification to use the passport at all participating events.
What shipping options are available for my Live Nation Club Passport?
Your Live Nation Club Passport can be shipped to you through regular mail, express delivery, or print-at-home. Please be aware that an addition charge will be added to express shipping.
How do I confirm my Live Nation Club Passport ticket reservation for events?
Reservation confirmations will be received within 12 hours or submission, at which time they will be guaranteed or denied.
When can I request a reservation using my Live Nation Club Passport?
Reservations can be submitted anytime once the show is listed on www.livenation.com/clubpassport. However, seats can only be reserved if the submission is received before 4pm local time the day before the show, while inventory is available.
Please note, if you miss the 4pm reservation cut off the day before your requested show, Live Nation Club Passport holders are always welcome to come to the venue the day of the event. We will make every attempt to get you into the show, based on venue capacity.
Additional updates in participating events will be made throughout the day each Monday.
What markets are available through the Live Nation Club Passport?
Atlanta, Boston, Carolinas, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Houston, Indianapolis, Las Vegas, Los Angeles/ Southern California, Miami, New Orleans, New York, Orlando, Philadelphia, and San Francisco.
How much does the Live Nation Club Passport cost?
The Live Nation Club Passport is available for the all inclusive price of $49.99.
My Live Nation Club Passport has been lost or stolen. What do I do now?
Please contact Live Nation Customer Care at 888.598.4299. The can be reached from 9:00 am to 1:00am EST.
When will I receive my Live Nation Club Passport?
Your Live Nation Club Passport will be received shortly after purchase dependant on the shipping method selected. Your event tickets must be picked up from the venue box office at will call the night of the event. They will be available when the local box office opens and until 30 minutes prior to show.
Can I receive support from Live Nation for my Club Passport?
You can reach Live Nation Customer Care at [email protected], or by phone at 888.598.4299 daily from 9:00am to 1:00am EST.
Can I upgrade my Live Nation Club Passport to reserved seating instead of general admission?
No, at this time the Live Nation Club Passport is only valid for the general admission area at participating shows and venues.
Can I use the Live Nation Club Passport for ADA seats?
Yes you may. Please purchase a general Live Nation Club Passport. When you redeem it for your event ticket you will be accommodated at the box office the day of the event.
So, C. Ray Nagin gets elected Mayor of New Orleans…
(that’s it – that is the worst-elected-joke EVER perpetrated on the City)
No.
He gets RE-ELECTED. That’s a bigger (in a gotta laugh so you don’t cry way) joke.
The best Ray Nagin joke is…
…
(wait for it…)
…the one in the mirror!
OK, I know I’m ineligible but I’ll take a stab at C Ray! (Linguisticaly speaking.)
Corrupt
Ridiculous
Apathetic
Yellow
Notorious
Assinine
Greedy
Incompetent
Never again
Ray Nagin admitted to a friend one day that the greatest sexual experience of his life was getting re-elected mayor of New Orleans.
“Wait, how can winning re-election be a sexual act?” his friend asked.
“Think about it, man” Nagin said. “On election night I realized there are four hundred thousand people in New Orleans–and I’m fucking every one of them!”
Porps to @M Styborski for such a poetic approach and @Tim for
What;s the difference between C. Ray Nagin and the Federal Flood?
The Flood saw more of New Orleans in 2 days than C. Ray saw in 2 TERMS! Even after the flood receded, the water stayed.
Keep em coming! Contest closes Monday morning.
Reporter: “Where’s Hizzoner?”
Nagin spokesperson: “We don’t know. He left it somewhere.”
(Ineligible Batchelor Submission)
Beaudreaux and Tibedeaux are standing on the river bank.
The want to get across, but the pirog, she busted.
They look across and see Ray Nagin.
“He smart, an can help us!” says Beaudreaux.
“Axe him whatta we do!” exclaims Tibedeaux.
“HEY! How do we get to tha other side o’ the river?” shouts Beaudreaux.
“No problem”, answers Ray.
“You’re already there.”
If you’re going to tell a Cajun joke, make sure you can spell the names right, idiot!
You wanna take this one LD, or should I?
Have to back my man S Simoneaux on this one. It’s not hard to Google up the proper spelling.
sugar ray went to his doctor in the old MB building on Canal Street and told him “my ass is burning.” doc replied, “that means somebody is talking about it.”
Dear Simoneaux:
It’s a joke.
One I squeezed out without thinking.
Or Spellcheck.
You either laugh, or ya don’t.
Ya is an incorrect spelling of You.
I could not possibly care any less.
Not even the teeniest bit.
Nope, not even that much.
If you really think I’m an idiot ( lazy, yes; stupid, no), please consider that you’re correcting the spelling in a Nagin joke on a blogsite joke contest.
I’m just saying…..
How come I can’t even tell a fucking joke these days without somebody jumping up my ass about something?
Isn’t that what nola.com is for?
But your ass is so big and bouncy!
Boing……Boing……Boing…….
Oh, wait, “up your ass.” Thought it was ‘on’ your ass. I’ll get off it now.
:(
Bood-row and Tibby-dow sed two spul there names rite.
er els.
Boudreaux saw Thibodeaux rowing by, with several cats in his boat.
“Where ya goin wit dem cats, Thibodeaux?”
“Fishin, Boudreaux. Cat fish see dem cats, jump right inna boat!”
“Yeah, yeah. You crazy”, said Boudreaux, and wandered off. Later that day, he saw Thibodeaux rowing back, his boat brimming with catfish.
Next morning, Boudreaux looks down and sees Thibodeaux rowing past.
“Whatcha got inna boat today, Thibodeaux” he askes.
“Pussywillows”, comes the reply.
“I’ll be right down”, says Boudreaux.
Greg Meffeert paid for their trip.
Didn’t mean to jump up your ass but,
“Idiot” might have been too strong a term ,
maybe “unschooled” would have been the right terminoligy.
It was a poor Nagin joke at the expense of us Cajuns.
I like y’alls bolg, for the most part,
but if you love New Oreans, as I do,
at least you could learn how to spell local names
and appreciate the local culture.
It was also a lame joke (who laughed?)!
BTW, the I don’t post on NOLA.com.
Find it a rant for racists.
I apologize for offences, and I will probably share a drink with you guys at some point in the future!
Dear Simoneaux;
Thanks for seeing the humor in it all. I knew I was spelling the names wrong, but I’m a sucker for lame jokes. As to ‘the expense of cajuns’, I rather thought it illustrated the ridiculous spin that Ray Ray puts on everything, thinking himself The ManWith The Master Plan, while actually being a morom full of shit, leaving everyone in the lurch (stuck on the river bank), while he smiles and pats himself on the back.
I apologize for any slight that may have been percived by you, or any of the great Cajun people who helped make this part of the country livable for the rest of us. It was not my intent.
And please, make some more of that Andouille sausage that’s really, really hot. Or tell me where it does get meade.
Lovin that spicey link, me.
Cheers!
Geaux Saints!
OK, back on track here. One omre ineligible entry…
Raydiation Sickness: noun (rÄ â€¢ dÄ“ • Ä â€¢ shÇn sÄk • nÇs)
An illness resulting from exposure to Mayor C Ray Nagin or his policies. Commonly marked by fatigue, nausea, vomiting, loss of teeth and hair, and in more severe cases by damage to blood-forming tissue in the brain with noticeable decrease in will to live.
ineligible entry:
On the eve of a major downtown ribbon-cutting ceremony, Nagin phones up his wife, who’s back in Dallas. “I need a pep talk,” he tells her. “I really don’t feel like attending this thing tonight.”
“Oh, but Ray! Just imagine how happy everyone would be if you didn’t show up!”
Okay,we have a winner. Had to dig thorough a lot of thread to find the jokes but the autocrat’s decision is in and our dear little Termite takes it! Lizzy you’;; be contacted by Brian at Accelerate via email sometime soon and they’ll get you get up with your Passport.
Thanks everyone!
Congrats, Fancy Feast.
You da Winnah!
Yay Termy!
whaaaaa?????? meeeee?????
*blushes*
i’d like to thank the academy of HumidCity for allowing me this privilege to be a ‘comment whore’ and my parents for bringing me into the world. my family of course for putting up with me. and let’s see. oh, my friends who will buy me rounds and rounds of martini’s cause i won. and hum.. last but not least, sugar ray. where do i start? *sigh* thank you, oh fearless leader, for the endless material you’ve given us by just being yourself.
don’t let the door hit you on the way out my love. it’s been fun.
xo
lizzy de
geaux saints! wOOt!
The Academy says “You’re Welcome”
Imma let you finish, but RayRay had the best video….
HA!