HumidCity

Go figure, people are people warts and all no matter where you go. This one is the first of many dedicated to those who continue to excoriate us rather than assist. It is not a hand out that we want or need. It is a hand up.

In that spirit allow me to shout about whats going on in Iowa. For them it is a manner of weeks since their flood, not the years we have had to navigate the dilirium, for them the red tape and greed factors are only just rearing their heads.

Via Iowa’s Gazette Online (hat tip to the inimitable Karen Gadbois for the this first one):

CEDAR RAPIDS — Three more residents have been accused of fraudulently claiming to be flood victims in order to receive money from the American Red Cross — taking more than $3,000 in assistance.

Patrice Howard, 36, and Willie Morris, 38, both of 1200 First Ave. SE, Apt. 1, were arrested this week on charges of second-degree theft, police said.

On June 21, the two gave Red Cross officials their previous address of 1806 M St. SW and said they lost their home in the flood. Investigators later found that house was not damaged by the flood.

For those keeping count that make seven so far in Cedar Rapids. I really feel for them, even a pale spectral version of what happened to our Crescent City is more than I would wish on anyone. It is close enough however that I can see the same pattern of news stories developing: thievery, red tape, failure of infrastructure. Just like home in that respect.

Wait, did I say red tape? Lets check back in on the Gazette, different article this time:

I called up John Gillick, who was flooded out of his house on 10th Street NW two months ago this week. His home was trashed, his Ellis Harbor boathouse was smashed, and the cops had his flooded car towed before he could get back into his neighborhood. He’s given up trying to get it back.

Still, Gillick is remarkably positive. I caught up with him Wednesday morning as he and his wife were moving into a Federal Emergency Management Agency trailer in Hiawatha.

“It’s good and it’s bad,” said Gillick, who’s happy to have a place to live but laments how he got here. “At least it’s a place to stay.”

He figures the decision to pull out dozens of moldy FEMA trailers extended his wait for housing. “Tell Patty Judge thanks,” one of his moving helpers yells, referring to the lieutenant governor’s snap, late-night order last month to remove the tainted trailers.

Gillick’s house also has been on a bureaucratic roller-coaster ride. First it was yellow-carded. Then yellow turned to that infamous shade of purple. Then, for some reason, purple turned back to yellow. He’s weighing the costs of rebuilding or renovation or putting in a modular home. But for now, like a lot of people, he’s just waiting for the feds, state and city to make some key decisions.

Right now Katrina is on everyone’s mind (at least here on the Gulf where there is no choice), in the spirit of generosity shown to us by those who came from states away to help while the official effort floundered I would like to advise readers to remember all the victims of infrastructure failure across the country.

Levees are everywhere.

-Loki, HumidCity Founder

A reader in Cincinnatti, OH who used to live in New Orleans Pre-Katrina graced my in-box with the following email message. I will write about this later once I have more time. In the meantime the RadiantAchangelus pretty much sums it all up:

Wait, Washington D.C. is below sea level? And filled with historic monuments? And barely protected by crappy old levees? Gee, sounds like a city I know. But quick - don’t fix the levees - they should just move too!!

Gaps in aging levees leave D.C. landmarks exposed - Yahoo! News

Of course if that is not enough here is a teaser from the article itself:

The small berm is part of an inconspicuous levee system designed to protect world-famous museums, the National Archives and federal office buildings from flooding.

But the nearly 70-year-old levee is at risk of failing during a major storm — a catastrophe that could swamp portions of downtown in up to 10 feet of water and cause $200 million in damages, according to federal officials.

Dozens of communities coast to coast are facing similar warnings as authorities re-examine the nation’s outdated flood-control infrastructure.

And one final ominous bit of foreshadowing I was heretofore unaware of (emphasis mine):

During six previous floods, officials placed sandbags on 17th Street, which cuts across the National Mall near the Washington Monument. Had there been more serious flooding, plans called for erecting an 8-foot earthen embankment with dirt taken from the grounds of the Washington Monument, said Steve Garbarino, the Corps’ project manager for flood protection in the Washington region.

This is Your Nation. This is Your Nation surrounded by failing levees. Any Questions?

Thanks R! We miss you down here!

well the ducks are gone… the pothole is now sequestered off like a crime scene with S&WB barrels warning all onlookers that there’s nothing to see here…

my pothole is going to go away! finally… after 2 1/2 years of gestation and expansion and still birth

you see… a few nights ago one of new orleans’ finest got stuck in lake pothole with his cruisers nose buried headfirst in the sludge of city planning… two towtruckers and all the kings horse and all the kings men later (as well as as some y’at tinged ungrammatical cussing and paperwork, too). me thinks the city may finally “fill” my hole in a new , non-amorous way… what no flowers?

afterall the fema trailer will soon be history… why not end with a smooth street riding into the sunset?

there was no pot in my hole… otherwise, i would have smoked it!

BLOG THIS!

p.h. fred

phfred@mcnawlins.com

well as i finally “un”settle back into my house, the two and five sixths years of post k goobly goo comes to a a not-so screeching halt.  or does it? the emotional, physical, and mental scars won’t heal.  the burning in my lungs and dull nightmares continue.  the unnatural tingling in certain extremities continues relentlessly. neither the powers that be or those that won’t be can fix that. in fact, it’s kinda hard to call it post-traumatic since the trauma isn’t over as we walk amidst the shadows day by day.  the floods of 08 are just a reminder that mother nature can be a bad mother - hush your mouth… i’m just talkin about getting the shaft(?). 

the “everything’s slow in the south” mentality of new orleans has turned to a comatose “nothing’s moving  or getting done” land of shades reminiscent of aeneas’ visit down below in virgil’s classic epic

the slow life. the slow food. the not-so-fast food nation called McNawlins… do you want levees with that? how ’bout a not-so-happy meal? afterall, you deserve a breech today! well, do we really? i don’t think so!

meanwhile… gas and employment go up WHILE politicians give themselves outrageous raises for a job not yet well or done.

can i see the manager? oh, yeah… mr. jindal… he’s decided to do nothing… a lame duck in less than six months.  maybe he should be v-p.  then again, if he did, he might shoot me in the face… then again his refusal to take a stand was sort of a knife in the back. 

another game of formaldehyde and seek!

p.h. fred

www.mcnawlins.com

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The video shows why we all need the 8/29 Investigation - a truly independent and complete analysis of the Katrina levee failures on August 29, 2005. Best if done by NOON THURSDAY JUNE 5.

Help launch Levees.Org to the top of the YouTube charts!

Want to do more? You can also:

1. Register at YouTube and rate the video.

2. View and rate our other videos on YouTube.

Help spread the word. Help show why New Orleans and people nationwide deserve the 8/29 Investigation. We have shown that the levee study done by the government is flawed and controversial. We also know that the review done by the ASCE was shoddy and biased.

-Loki, HumidCity Founder

i.

a man in lakeview was shot and killed by nopd after he first threatened fema workers who were “evicting” him from his fema trailer and then brandished a gun at police officers. the police claim he was a mentally ill man who was “off his meds,” but I wonder if that’s any reason to play judge, jury and executioner. mentally ill? who isn’t nowadays? shouldn’t law enforcement be handling (and shooting) the real crooks, you know, the ones in the suits who put the city in formaldehyde–infested fema trailers to begin with?

ii.

meanwhile my trailer eviction notice from the city of new orleans sits unanswered and ignored on my countertop as do my prescriptions. hmmm… go ahead punk…do you feel lucky?

iii.

my pothole is now the home for ducks PIC HERE… well, at least it was for a few hours. does that mean it’s no longer a pothole, but rather a topographical body of water to be registered with rand and mcnally? unfortunately or fortunately, the baby ducks were rescued ala’ evicted by a concerned neighbor who thought a) they might get hit by a car, b) they might be eaten by pigeons, c) they might get shot by the nopd. unfortunately, the mother was thrown into a quacking seizure for the next three hours (situationally induced mental illness) … and the ducklings probably won’t survive the night in unneeded and unrequested human care.

I wonder what we can learn from these random accidents of unkindness?

sic itur ad astra?

BLOG THIS!

phfred@notthat.com

That guy in Lakeview, the one the SWAT team went to visit yesterday, is now dead.

A man was reportedly shot and killed by New Orleans police SWAT officers after a 10-hour standoff in which he barricaded himself in his FEMA trailer in Lakeview, according to police.

The confrontation began after the man, wearing a gun in his waistband, chased away FEMA workers who were attempting to reclaim the trailer in which he was living, police said.

The standoff ended Wednesday morning when police shot him after using several canisters of tear gas trying to draw him out. Associated Press reports say paramedics took him to a hospital, where he later died.

Now here is the interesting quote a few paragraphs down:

Though he didn’t actually draw his gun, he placed his hand on it near his waistband while ordering the FEMA workers to leave the trailer, the workers told police.

Via NOLA.com

The things that really gets me about this is that so many of the lives lost to flying bullets merit no more than a blurb. This guy was colorful and dramatic enough for the news, but what about the ongoing spate of death that infects our city like the plague?

-Loki, HumidCity Founder

What have we been driven to?

An NOPD SWAT team Tuesday afternoon surrounded a house in Lakeview as a resident who learned he was about to lose his trailer threatened a FEMA official with a gun and barricaded himself inside the trailer, police said.-NOLA.com

-Loki, HumidCity Founder

well after 2 years in a fema trailer, give or take a few half lives and a couple of missed doses of depakote, i’m finally back in a house. so armed with a contempt for capitalization and punctuation, let me hit the ground punning… as  my head begins to spin into puddles of creativity, i realize the biggest problem with post-k new orleans or post reagan politics isn’t reality, it’s all perception.  my jazz fest experience as a performer made me think that we weren’t in the small print…. all those people opened up for us,,,,  when i recently donated one of my paintings to the grace house for an auction, i didn’t consider myself a starving artist with only 3 pieces sold in my 44 years, rather score now is fred 3, van gogh 1.  

it’s all in the perception… the spin… the lie even.

as i sat recently blurry eyed and pumped with manic endorphins, a piece of “lie” and perception hit me or kicked me or fondled me… it has to do with the reason i’m only recently in a house and may be back in a trailer or a boat or homeless when hurricane season arrives on my freshly unpainted doorstep august or thereabouts: 7400 Leake Ave, New Orleans, LA 70118???? leake ave?  LEAKE?  LEAK?   oh yes, the physical address of the U.S. CORP OF ENGINEERS… c’est levee!  well, as i investigated further the PUBLIC AFFAIRS dept of the corps (or is that corpse????) no longer uses 7400 Leake Ave, New Orleans, LA 70118 as their addy…. they got a P.O. BOX… go figure… you can’t sue ‘em, you can’t find ‘em, BUT YOU CAN STILL BLAME ‘EM.  I suggest they get a new physical addy on TUPPERWARE ST or WATERPROOF RD or ME CULPA DR or better yet on WE ADMIT IT WE F’D UP ROYALLY AND WE PROMISE WE WON”T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN BLVD.

a p.o. box? you gotta be kiddin’ me!

BLOG THIS!

p.h. fred (phfred@notthat.com)

?

so it’s as if i’m charlton heston walking down the beach…. DAMN DIRTY APES! DAMN DIRTY BUSH! DAMN DIRTY FEMA! but somehow that post-apocalyptic analogy is missing something… no witty or insightful sequals (thank goodness), no action figures (although the t-shirt biz and faux fleur de crap is still blooming), and no great tie-ins (apologies to brinkly, rose, spike lee, and the cast/ ace bandage of k-ville)

no it’s hard to survive new orleans… you know the day in/ day out life in a trailer or the previously unheard/ unreported/ or downright ignored gunshots, the visits for katrina related illnesses or the lack of understanding and loss of jobs, the strain on relationship, the self doubt, the suicides and countless others contemplated or attempted…hard indeed, but are you really that happy to see me?

new orleans has become a forgotten city perhaps except when luminaries like brad pitt draw the media or criminals too numerous to hold office get elected and re-elected… it’s hard geetting to sleep, it’s hard getting out of bed… and yes, i remembered to take my medicine,

BLOG THIS!

phfred@notthat.com

I thought I could no longer be surprised by the actions of FEMA. Thanks to them I have seen and been through such an amazing amount of bullshit in the past two years that it staggers the imagination. I have a lot to learn…..

A FEMA Press conference was held about their actions during the current disaster in CA. Now the White House has had to “scold,” them publically about it. Why? Because there were NO reporters! NONE!

I kid you not, the “reporters” in the room were FEMA employees, and if the Washington Post is to be believed they were departmental directors. We have now just crossed the line into a level of the surreal that people usually attain from drinking paint thinner cocktails cut with cat urine and LSD.

Here is the Washington Post Story: FEMA meets the Press, Which Happen to be …FEMA

They should leave the fake news to people who know how to  do it well, like Stephen Colbert for instance…

(thanks to Yat Pundit for clueing me in on this!)

A Guest Post by John Doheny, visiting professor of music at Tulane University.

Here’s my friend marieoroumania checking in from Socal.

Everybody was happy and smiling and seemed thrilled to death to be sleeping on FEMA cots. Free food, free water, impromptu dance lessons, live bands volunteering, some of whom were evacuees themselves. I cannot believe how much of a party atmosphere there is there. Especially after the grimness of the Astrodome in 2005 and the governmental fuckups. What a difference some organization, some money, and some genuine giving a shit enough to plan for an awful disaster makes. Seriously. I didn’t want to leave. I saw one girl with her face painted, and asked her where she got it done, and she told me “oh, over in the arts and crafts section.” Arts and crafts section! At an evac site!

While I am of coure happy that human suffering seems be being kept to a minimum, I actually felt sick reading this. Because I know that, sure as shit, this situation is going to be used to beat us New Orleanians over the head with how much better republicans, in a rebublican state, with a republican governor, are at managing disasters. And, once again, how the fuckups in Katrina are entirely our fault for electing a democrat mayor and a democrat governor (note the subtle ‘republicanspeak’ of substituting ‘democrat’ for ‘democratic.’ In the south, when you want to insult someone, you ‘call them out of their name’).

The fact that this is apples and oranges will be glossed over. It’s not just that SOCAL has a lot more money and a lot fewer poor people. It’s that it still has large metropolitan areas that are completely unaffected. It’s that the stadium has power, and running water, and the sewers haven’t backed up and flooded the place with shit.

Are the happy Southern Californians being kept inside by armed guards? When they tried to walk away from the fires (well okay, this is socal. drive away from the fires) were shotguns fired over their heads to turn them back? And, last I heard, about 600 homes had actually burned. That’s a tragedy for 600 homeowners, but over 150,000 homes were destroyed in Orleans Parish alone.

I sympathize, I really do. And if you have time later on, check the comment strings on places like Huffington Post. The same ass-trolls clamboring for my town to be abandoned are yammering on about hollyweird liberals too stupid to run from fires. So, you know, welcome to the club.

But in the long run, especially in the MSM, this is going to get spun as a triumph for Bush and the republican governorship of california, and a further indictment of Louisiana. And that makes me almost as sad and angry as the disaster itself.

Time for our resident engineer to share some news with us again. Ladies and gentlemen, humidcity is proud to once more present the epistles of Matt McBride:

Dear New Orleanians,

This afternoon, FEMA posted the press release announcing the changes in the Relocation Assistance program. You can find it here:

http://www.fema.gov/news/newsrelease.fema?id=41323

This is the program that pays up to $4000 for moves and other relocation expenses for Katrina and Rita victims who have been displaced.

When the program was first announced on August 27th, FEMA only paid for moves between February 1, 2006 and Feb. 29, 2008. The reason for this was purely bureaucratic.

After a nearly instant outcry from many individuals that FEMA was penalizing early returners, the process for revising the program guidance began. Now, the opening dates have been moved back to the dates of the storms (8/29/05 for Katrina and 9/24/05 for Rita). This means that anyone who moved back after the storms may now be eligible.

The new press release does not make mention of the fact that this is a revision of the program, probably to prevent bringing up their error. That’s okay. What’s important is they made the program fair to all.

Also not mentioned in the release are the following points:

1) Acceptance of the relocation assistance means the ending of rental assistance. I suppose this could be controversial.
2) On the hotel room reimbursements (they pay for hotel rooms during a move), if the household has more than four persons or the hotel has occupancy restrictions, they will pay for additional rooms. Also, for each additional 400 miles travelled, they will pay for another night of hotel stays.
3) It’s not clear exactly what they are referring to when they say they will reimburse for “mileage,” in addition to gas & taxes.
4) They mention the cap on Individual & Households Program assistance, but do not provide the amount. It is $26,200.

As of today, the (800) 621-FEMA hotline now has a recorded message about this program. The recording mostly covers the stuff in the press release. As always, you should call the 800 number to register for the program and to get all the official information. Ask to be transferred to a Relocation Assistance specialist. FEMA has specifically trained personnel to process this paperwork and answer aid recipients’ questions.

Matt

ADDENDUM (2 hours later):

FEMA just placed another webpage about the Relocation Assistance program up:

http://www.fema.gov/news/newsrelease.fema?id=41326

They refer to this one as a Fact Sheet. It rejiggers the information in the earlier press release to make it more readable.

Matt

Here we go, the latest email submission from Mr. Fix The Pumps! Brace yourself because this is really bizarre: good news! Take it away Matt…

Dear New Orleanians,

This morning, FEMA issued its new Disaster Specific Guidance (DSG) for the Relocation Assistance program. This is the program to reimburse folks affected by Katrina and Rita for moving back home or to a new permanent address. The guidance was issued internally to FEMA’s front line customer service folks.

Note that everything below is not official guidance from FEMA. You should call (800) 621-FEMA to get the complete scoop.

Now, on to the good news…

Previously, FEMA had restricted eligibility for the program for those people who moved between February 1, 2006 and February 29, 2008.

Today, that opening date has been changed to August 29, 2005! That means anyone that moved back after the storm (and who meets all the other tests for eligibility) is now eligible. In other words, FEMA is no longer penalizing the pioneers who came back - or those folks who decided to put down roots somewhere else - as soon as possible after the storm. The closing date remains the same - February 29, 2008.

I assume there will be a press release on this in the coming days, but here’s some more details, straight from the actual DSG (note you can’t have already received these benefits from another organization, such as the United Methodist Church, the Red Cross, or any other agency that might have provided the assistance):

- as before, the benefit is a maximum of $4000. That is counted toward the theoretical maximum Individuals & Families Program benefit of $26,200. Thus, if your household has not received more than $22,200, you could receive up to the maximum $4000.

- a new part of the benefit is that FEMA will pay for one night of hotel stay if the move was more than 400 miles. They’ll pay for the room and taxes, but not room service or any other hotel services. If you had more than one room, (due to occupancy restrictions or had more than 4 people in your group during the move), FEMA will pay for another room. For each additional 400 miles over the first 400, FEMA will pay one more night.

- as before, the move must be 50 miles or more

- FEMA will pay for truck rental, moving help, moving supply purchases from the rental company (boxes, tape, etc), car rental, and even gas. Apparently, receipts are only required for the gas purchases, although they also mention you can put in for mileage (assumedly at the standard gov’t reimbursement rate in effect at the time of the move, though I would wait until the official guidance is released to the public for that detail). If you don’t have receipts for anything else, I think you can supply estimates or you can call the moving or rental company to get a duplicate receipt. But receipts are always best.

- FEMA will not pay for gas if you used your private vehicle to move back (they feel you would have been doing so anyway as part of a normal evacuation, and that any extra expenses incurred in such a private-vehicle move were covered by the $2000 Emergency Assistance - I’m not saying I agree… I’m just passing along the reasoning). If you rented a trailer to tow behind, they will pay for that.

- FEMA’s still paying for plane, train, and bus tickets home, as long as you haven’t had them paid for by some other organization.

- the program has been opened up to everyone in the Katrina-and-Rita-affected counties and parishes in Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. Previously, this program was only open to Louisiana storm victims.

There’s a few more details (you can only apply for benefits resulting from one of the storms, not both), but the big news is the date change. This is pretty huge, and will benefit thousands of people.

FEMA has set up a special fax number if you wish to submit your receipts by fax. It is:

(877) 828-9388

If you want to mail in your paperwork, the address is:

FEMA Relocation Assistance

NPSC

P.O. Box 10055

Hyattsville, MD 20782

As always, you should call 1-800-621-FEMA to register for the program and to get all the information. Ask to be transferred to a Relocation Assistance specialist. FEMA has specifically trained personnel to process this paperwork and answer aid recipients’ questions.

Note that FEMA has been holding off processing anyone’s Relocation Assistance claims that have been submitted in the last month (the program was announced August 27, 2007). They knew the program would be getting changed significantly, so they wanted to wait for the revised guidance. That way, everyone is being treated equally. According to the fellow I spoke with, processing of claims should begin today or tomorrow.

When the press release comes out, I’ll point you to it.

Matt McBride

Dear New Orleanians,

I have confirmed that there is a written policy change to the Relocation Assistance program now making its way through the Disaster Assistance Directorate at FEMA. I do not know the exact contents of the change, but have strong indications that the eligibility date for reimbursement of moving expenses has been moved to a date earlier than February 1, 2006, potentially making many thousands of people eligible for up to $4000 in FEMA funds.

The policy change has to go through five layers of bueracracy before it is issued. It has currently made it past two of those layers:

5) Individual and Households Program (which is where it originated)

4) Human Services Division

As of Friday, September 14, it was on the desk of the policy shop for the Disaster Assistance Directorate:

3) Program Management Section

After that, it has to work its way through two more layers:

2) Individual Assistance

1) Office of the Director for Disaster Assistance

In terms of how the government works, this is pretty speedy. I’ll keep you updated as events warrant.

Matt McBride via email

Dear New Orleanians:

This past Monday, FEMA announced a new program for those displaced by hurricanes Katrina & Rita. It is meant to provide reimbursement for relocation expenses incurred by any disaster victims. But there is a serious problem.

First, here’s the press release on the program.

and here’s the Times-Picayune’s article about it.

Right after Katrina, FEMA had a program called the Facilitated Relocation Program. From what little I can find about it now, it’s the program that paid for one-way airplane, bus, and train tickets for evacuees to come back to the disaster zone. It didn’t pay for moving expenses or rental cars, so it’s not an exact analogue. In fact, it’s very different. But (and this is the important part) it apparently officially ended on January 31, 2006. Here’s a FEMA press release on it.

Yes the press release says it was to end December 31st, but I’ve confirmed with FEMA that it actually ended a month later.)

Despite the significant differences in the two programs, FEMA views the new one as simply a continuation of the old one. It is NOT.

You cannot compare paying for a one way bus ticket to the costs incurred in renting a moving van in Houston or Atlanta (where U-Haul and Penske were charging triple and quadruple their normal rates after the storm) and hiring movers to bring back what you salvaged from your flooded home, along with what you had acquired in the first few months after the storm (some of which, such as furniture, was funded by FEMA!).

While this January 7, 2007 article in the Times-Picayune says that even 16 months after the storm, truck rental companies were charging through the nose, I can tell you that from personal experience, it was already expensive just five months after the storm. That article also talks about what finally led to the new policy. There is no discussion of the earlier bus-ticket program, because that program had nothing to do with people renting a moving truck. How FEMA can conflate the two is beyond me.

So this policy has to be changed to move the start date back to something more common sense.

I’ve already alerted the Times-Picayune to this, and they will probably be writing something about it next week. I’ve also spoken to the bureaucrats at FEMA in Washington. At first, they claimed they couldn’t tell me why February 1, 2006 had been chosen (in fact, I had to pry even to get the name of the person to whom I was talking). They claimed it was a matter of internal policy deliberation, and that I had to submit any questions in writing to a generic email box (fema-correspondence-unit@dhs.gov).

When I asked if it was because the Facilitated Relocation Program had ended on January 31, 2006, they said that was indeed the reason. I’m pretty sure I was speaking with - if not the person who crafted the policy - at least someone who knows its history.

So please let anyone you know about this, and how ridiculously unfair it is. Every individual is entitled by law to $26,200 in individual disaster assistance from FEMA. If this latest allowed allotment does not cause you to exceed that amount, I don’t see why FEMA should arbitrarily limit it with a silly date on a calendar. Hopefully we can get this policy changed to something that recognizes the enormous struggles Katrina and Rita victims went through in the immediate aftermath of the storms.

Matt Mc Bride (via email)

FEMA, FEMA, FEMA….

Its like shooting fish in a barrel to take another shot at these guys but sometimes you just have to do it. So lets see, the second Hurricane Season Post Katrina looms and we will be safe this time, right?

WASHINGTON (AP) — FEMA says its new national response plan won’t be ready in time for the June first start of the hurricane season.

Oh. Maybe they just have their hands full in the wake of the Nor’easter that ripped through NY.

“There is no question that these counties need aid right away to begin the recovery from the storms,” Schumer said in a statement. “As the scope of this disaster widens, we need a swift response from FEMA and I will hold FEMA’s feet to the fire to ensure any and all aid flows quickly.” - Sen. Schumer, NY

Hey Schumer, don’t hold your breath! Still, it will be interesting to see how much assistance actually makes it to Westchester County. I hope they do better by them than they did by us. No one deserves treatment like we received and Westchester County was where the wife and I spent our exile after the Storm. If any of our friends in Dobbs Ferry are reading please leave a comment and let us know you are alright!

Hmm… Maybe they have been too busy ensuring that people in the Katrina Zone are fed to get around to it.

WASHINGTON — The Federal Emergency Management Agency Friday more than doubled its estimate of the number of prepared meals lost during the 2006 hurricane season because of storage problems to 13.4 million, up from the 6 million it reported earlier.

Guess not. Puzzling, eh? This year already looks like a doozy, and the Federal Employees Missing Again are looking like they will have a hell of a lot of things to answer for by its end. If, that is, anyone ever holds them or the Corps accountable.

We are four months shy of the two year mark. Almost two years since the failure of the levees that we were told were safe. Almost two years since FEMA was doing a “heckuva job.” Makes you wonder about those trailers just over the MS border, the ones still unused. Makes you wonder a lot of things.

It will be interesting to watch the next few weeks. Either FEMA will step up and take care of the wealthy upper east coast communities the way it should have handled its commitments here OR they will foul up egregiously again and our countrymen elsewhere will get a dose of the joy we have been experiencing here in NOLA. The interesting thing will be seeing what the politicians and mainstream media have to say (spin) about it….

The joy is only starting, after all the Corps of Engineers has classified 122 levees nationwide as at risk.

How many times must we see this rerun?

Right now, here in New Orleans, Hollywood South, movie magic is happening. Yes, we could all be gushing about Brangelina, or we could debate the finer points of what the film industry could do to/for our city, or we could all ignore it as yet another wave of change rolls in. Instead, I just like to roll around in the movie magic.

Today, on my daily bike ride home, I reveled in the self-righteousness of crusing past several blocks of cars down St. Charles where there is always a jam at the broken light at Jefferson. At the next block, a pair of policemen had stopped a few cars and I looked around for an accident. The cop in the street motions to me to ride up to him. “I don’t see why you can’t go through, no reason to hold you up. They’re filming this College movie at the library, just don’t stop.” I rode on, past the usual fleet of shiny, huge trailers, trucks full of filming equipment, and people scurrying about. (The people who scurry are obviously not local. We don’t scurry here.)

For several blocks there was no traffic at all. I swerved my bike, enjoying the full breadth of St. Charles. The oaks and their speckled shadows were all for me. This was a scene in my movie.

A week ago, I rode through the filming of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I didn’t realize that they were actually shooting until I happened upon a very friendly couple. They were excellently dressed for a Wednesday afternoon, her in a peach wool suit and him in in crisp brown with a sharp hat. Surrounding us was a array of the finest 50’s and 60’s cars New Orleans has to offer. The white girl with the beehive across the street ultimately tipped me off and I asked the couple if I should keep biking. “Go on. They’ll yell when we’re supposed to start walking up this side walk, again.” I rode on. The doors to all of the crew/cast trailers were open. Inside there were people lounging on comfortable couches, pacing in circles, even scurrying, with the room to do it! These huge trailers lined at least seven blocks of Napoleon Avenue in Broadmoor, dwarfing the FEMA trailers that sat behind them on every other lawn.

I told Maitri about my fantastic bike ride home today as we sat in her car outside of a parking lot full of trailers. I excitedly pointed at the lot. “Look, movie trailers! (Ignore the pun if you dare.) I can tell they’re movie trailers because they’re nice and so much bigger than FEMA trailers!” Momentarily proud of my discernment in trailers, soon the disgusting nature of the comparison sucked the movie magic right out of me. Instead of talking about Brangelina, or the film industry, we just ignored them. Instead we ranted about the toxicity of FEMA trailers, their depressing, confining size, and the criminal amounts of money that were paid for them. FEMA spends about $60,000 for each of these plain white trailers over their estimated life span of 18 months. For that cost they could have got a bulk rate on luxury or at least human sized trailers. A lot of these trailers are camper sized, and intended only for a few nights stay.

So, Hollywood, many of us are glad for the business and jobs that you have brought to our city. I enjoy the magical way you make cars dissapear. But you better look out. What we really like are your trailers.

last call?

so many words describe the current state of affairs here in new orleans:

betrayed, abandoned, scared, scarred, scary, broken

each word represents another shot of whiskey, another drug, another way to numb and be numbed … AND i dare anyone to spend a week in my trailer in my hood … piles of garbage, crime, pools of blood (i’m not exaggerating)…. these are my IKEA, my designer jeans…this is my hollywood. i dare people to say things are getting better… they’re not. i dare people to say they donated money or did a benefit … i ask where the money went and who benefited. i dare people to tell me what FEMA, insurance companies and the government have done …nothing. i dare people to crawl into my head and walk around a while … you can’t nor would you want to …

as a vietnamese woman on the westbank said … i came to america for freedom, to escape, now i fear for my life … i cannot expose my children to this

this is not america

everyday more life looters are driving & pushing me to the end of the line
how many strikes will it finally take before this city drives me away?
6 months ago i wanted to save it.
2 days ago i wanted to champion it.
today i just want to survive it …

not sure how or if i will
after further bouts of censorship, distrust,
poor attendence, and now empty coffers
the freddy fred show is coming to an end …

thanks to the artists, musicians, dancers, and clubs that were involved …
if possible, remaining posters may still be printed for archival’s sake
(to think the archive of contemporary music wanted to document this???)

i close my eyes now because the words are killing me …
someone has stolen my gift of laughter …
without that, i have nothing else to give …

i started out Post K year two with grand ideas… shows to REBUILD NEW ORLEANS: ONE LAUGH, ONE SONG, ONE SHOW AT A TIME… little did i know how trite the rebuild would seem to so many, a catch phrase for catch alls… i put the band back together, I released a mock opera, I hired singers, dancers, and musicians… i enlisted artists from around the world to help (40+ actively involved, including Peter Bagge, Tony Millionaire, and Mark Newgarden– artists from US, UK, Austria, Czech Republic, Australia, France,and New Zealand). a grand plan or a manic delusion?

and so the shows (and the idea of the shows) have been quality.. but the audiences have not been quantity,,, each show brings me deeper in debt… the poster project has turned out well artistically.. but now my gutted house is a warehouse for unsold “art” and i still have my sorry ass in a FEMA trailer… perhaps i should have forgotten the altruistic REBUILD NEW ORLEANS efforts and REBUILT MY LIFE instead… the past few weeks have been flanked by manic black out binges and depressed self inflicted thoughts… i keep myself awake with screams that are racing faster in slow motion… suddenly primal therapy makes sense again…

only a handful of shows to fill out the year…

plus the BLOG gets released in book form

canada is postponed for now… it may occur this summer along with europe (depending on FEMA, insurance, and doctor’s orders)

have to make the big picture smaller for a while otherwise i might wakeup dead– another casualty to post K or the big easy or just my disease BLOG THIS!

Main Entry: comic relief
Function: noun
: a relief from the emotional tension especially of a drama that is provided by the interposition of a comic episode or element

Hmmmmm….so that’s comic relief in the traditional, dictionary ala Greek and/or Shakesperean sense… thus spoke Zarathutsra, er, i mean Webster. No mention of Falstaff, neither the charcter nor the beer, doing a benefit. True comic relief doesn’t draw attention to itself or its celebrity drinking buddies. It doesn’t shake a can, have a phonebank, or arrange for photo opps. True comic relief is the laugh at the funeral near the murdered corpse real close to the tragedy right before we return to the scene of the crime. What we need in New Orleans is that laugh, that oh-so cathartic laugh, before we return back to the horror and get back to work. BUT do we really need another celebrity-baitied and celebrity-baiting fundraiser? REMEMBER: it took years for George Harrison’s money to ever make it to Bangladesh. Personally, I’ve been leery ever since.

Don’t get me wrong. Parts of last night’s show were inspired. Oh inspirational and perspirational Muses, though ye are oft mispronounced round here! Bob Zmuda was right on the mark that things are still broken. Billy Crystal was dead on with his Lord Buckley-esque character sketch of the old clarinet jazz cat. “Can you dig it?” However, Robin Williams’ crotch grabbing was neither comic nor relief. Likewise, Whoopi’s ethnic presence was just that: ethnic and present. PERIOD.

It truly surprised me that Zmuda, the founder of Comic Relief, who allegedly spent six months here to do his homework prior to last night’s comic release and nocturnal transmission, did not include any local comics. Yes, we’re here… some us working the same clubs where Bob Zmuda milked Andy Kaufman’s ghost in the form of Tony Clifton.
Perhaps we local comics aren’t the A-List and A-Team of Hollywood Squares that pranced the stage last night. Perhaps we don’t have the name recognition or bank accounts or as friends on myspace. BUT unlike Dane Cook, John Stewart, or Roseanne Barr, we have that little something something that was missing from the soire. We have a comic insight that none, i repeat none, of those comics did have, do have, or ever will have. We lived in New Orleans. AND we still live here. We lost homes. We lost family. A part of us died August 2005. A part of us continues to die everyday. We know what it means to miss New Orleans. It’s a little disappointing and upsetting to have a non-New Orleanian bastardize and blaspheme that tune or even “When the Saints Go Marching In.” It’s hard to stomach really–like hearing Springsteen doing a Pete Seeger tribute by covering songs that Pete Seeger didn’t write. Right? He’s no boss of me. But I digress… How can you miss a city you’ve never been to? LIKEWISE both the spirit of the city and the gospel roots of “the Saints” were lost in the opening dance number. This isn’t the Oscars. This is my life. Did they miss New Orleans? NO. Did they miss the mark? YES. Heck, they were in Vegas. We appreciate the spotlight, but…

Let me end with my own experience, the tragedy that surrounds my comic relief (see definition above). In the past 14 months I have lost job(s), home, and family. My mom’s body was subsequently lost, er, misplaced by FEMA. I have received no monies from my insurance. I have received no monies from the Road Home Program. I have received no monies from Tipitina’s or any of the other musician/ performer foundations, although i have applied to several of them several times. There are several potholes in my road home. As Whoopi, Robin, Billy, and company were preparing to take the stage (once again, in Vegas, not here), I received my own form of comic relief, a FEMA check in the amount of $347.25 to cover my mother’s funeral expenses. Comic relief indeed. Check your local listings. BLOG THIS!

Ever notice that everything has a warning label on it? The mop bucket with the graphic on the side saying “don’t drown the baby in the mop water,” is a commonplace example. Well it continues, ad absurdum, on into the blast zone of NewOrleans. Tim brings us this wonderful catalogue of idiocy from within the walls of his FEMA trailer. Check out the original post, it is rife with visual aids…

~ Tim’s ~ Nameless ~ Blog ~ Post-K life in New Orleans
I’m not the first person to notice that everything nowadays comes with copious and often stupidly obvious warning labels. Like electric hair dryers that are marked, “Do not use while bathing,” and lawn mowers that warn, “Do not place hands under mower while blade is moving.”

The labeling boom is the result of two powerful forces on the consumer market: government regulations and consumer litigation. Big Brother and Big Lawyer never seem to be satisfied.

And so it should not be a surprise that our FEMA travel trailer is virtually decorated with warning stickers. This white box we call home is the perfect convergence of manufacturers’ CYA strategy and government’s “We’ll protect you” maternalism.

As i sit in my FEMA trailer amid tornado warnings and the meteor-logical(?) advice to flee to my gutted house, i wonder if things are getting better, worse, or just more surreal. Sure we weathered the hurricane season, but now the city has a bull’s eye on it like the proverbial trailer park in a country song. It’s as if the FEMA trailers came with an endorsement of the Nashville Cats and all the stereotypical trappings. I lost my wife. I lost my truck. I lost my my-o-my. Today the city is very humid indeed.  Stormy weather? Thunder storm? Brain storm? No brainer? The news reports how a batch of prefab FEMA modular houses were ruined by the weather. It makes me wonder if they would have been any good anyway if they can’t withstand the rain. Too bad it’s not like when we were younger. A flood meant splashing in the backed up sewerage. Kids, adults, and even circus animals rode bicycles without helmets (pardon my misplaced modifier). Monkeybars were built over concrete. Insurance companies paid claims. Politicians told the truth (yeah right, and George Washington really cut down the cherry tree). “Rain rain go away” seemed to give us young tykes power over the element as we play clad with yellow slickers and rubber boots. If there was a real threat of meteorological nature, Nash Roberts would save us… Heck we didn’t fear rain, snow, sleet, or flood… we had Nash and we had reliable postal delivery (soemtimes twice a day)… no fear indeed… not even of meteors…right? Oh the times have changed… the mail is undependable, the weather has become the “whether.” Toxins and poo monsters have ruined our puddle spashing. Black mold and broken levees have ruined lives and rosey glassed boone’s farm enduced oh-so-fond memories of Led Zeppelin 8 tracks. The glorious patter of rain on a tin roof has given way to shakey FEMA trailers… the weather is no longer a chance for Willard Scott to give a centegenarian birthday wish sponsored by Smuckers. TORNADOS that once brought us to Dorothy and munchkins now bring us to the wrong OZ… cable television my arse… TORNADOS that may cause us to make another insurance claim. TORNADOS that don’t resemble that “cleaning power” of a WHITE TORNADO or a Justice League HUMAN TORNADO. Meanwhile Japan prepares for a Tsunami after a Pacific earthquake. Indeed the deja voodoo is busy working it’s effects on good old mother nature… score at half time: katrina 2, nola 0. BLOG THIS!

A new Katrina Refrigerator post here. Its title is Walking to New Orleans.

This is Walking to New Orleans II.

Last night, while my grandson and I were playing a game, my husband and daughter were sitting in the front room watching TV and talking. The rest of the story comes from my husband as I didn’t know about it until today.

They heard a knock on the door. My husband opened it to find a 60-ish, emaciated, black woman standing there. She asked him if he could ask his wife to make her a sandwich. She had walked and walked to get to our neighborhood because she was so hungry, but found the church (probably the one up on the corner of Rampart and St. Anthony) closed. She was clearly unaccustomed to knocking on random doors in search of food, and according to my husband, clearly in need of the food. She didn’t look like a substance abuser, just a desperate, very poor, very hungry woman. My husband packed her a sack lunch with a sandwich, some chips, some peanut butter crackers, whatever he could find in our kitchen and gave it to her. When he gave it to her he said she was crying and then she disappeared into the night.

There are so few services here that we couldn’t think this morning of where we could have sent her and we’re going to look into putting a list together of shelters, etc. so that we will have that information for someone who needs it.

As unaccustomed as she was to knocking on random doors in order to eat, we are also unaccustomed to having our door knocked on for that reason. It is shocking to us. I wish we knew who she was, where she was. Maybe we could help her in some other way than just a sandwich and some chips if we knew that, but the whole thing transpired fast and my husband, in his shock, didn’t get any information from her. How many others like her are there out there?

For sure they’re “out there”—-not in an apartment.

There was help for the very poor right after Katrina, but now so many services are just not up and running, and there are grants for homeowners coming through, but this city has been a city of renters for a long, long time. There has been no help at all for renters (Section 8 aside, but that’s another story). We regular Joe’s in the middle are at the mercy of “the market.” There is no chance for a woman like her to find an affordable apartment as rents have doubled in many cases, and the number of apartments available has declined.

Yesterday’s Times Picayune had an article on rising rents. While I understand that some landlords have extraordinary refurbishment expenses, there are others out there who clearly raised the rent to a number that would be close to what the Section 8 voucher amount is, even though the apartment would have rented for half that much last year, or certainly the year before Katrina.

Businesses can’t get workers, workers can’t find affordable housing. Without the workers there is no business—-who’s not GETTING this? It seems so obvious.

No one is saying that landlords should give away their rentals free, (there is a story in the article of one landlord who waived the deposit—that’s fabulous! What a novel idea!) but as one woman in the article said, who was now making $500 more a month than she was pre-K, she thought she could do better and fears she “missed the market.” C’mon! You’re already making more than you were before so what are you griping about? The rest of us are paying you all the money we have to keep a roof over our heads. And Entergy is raping us for the rest of our paycheck. Throw in paid utilities and maybe your apartment would be worth it.

I fear that if something isn’t done to cap rents in this city, that our labor issues will only get worse, and more people will leave, especially those who work in the service industry. The tourism and convention people need to get involved in this or they’re gonna tout our culture and music and party town only to have the conventioneers find that they hafta make their own hurricane at Pat O’s and bring their own pots to make red beans. There won’t be anyone here to make it for them. The bartenders and cooks won’t be able to find an apartment.

The woman who knocked on our door last night might be a harbinger of things to come if we don’t get services together, figure out what HANO is thinking, and get some rent controls in here.

None of that makes you think? Okay, how about this: What if that woman was YOUR mother?

-NOLA Slate