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My Fellow Joe Six-Packs:

Sarah Palin et al like to call us “Joe Six-Pack,” and they think we like it too. They think it sounds folksy and homey and cute.

Sure. It’s a folksy, homey, cute way to euphemistically call us something very close to trashy, ignorant hillbillies. We’re just not supposed to be smart enough to realize it.

See, JSP isn’t referring to our rock hard abs. JSP literally means “the blue collar guy who picks up a six pack of cheap beer every night after work and goes home to watch Nascar (and probably beat his wife/kids and light a cross on the black neighbor’s lawn but we won’t say anything about that wink wink nudge nudge).” That is the message that they are trying to get across to America.

We know you. You don’t have a thought in your head beyond making sure you have food on the table and beer in the fridge. You want us to take care of you and do all the thinking for you. You’re a demographic we’ve put together based on statistics of race, level of education, and family income. And we think that everyone who falls within those statistics is just exactly the same. And did we mention we don’t think you’re very bright?

And that, to them, based on statistics, is what they think of us middle Americans.

Are there a percentage of Americans who fit their definition? White (or POCs who are happy with their lot in life), blue collar, no higher education, racist, homophobic, specific brand of Christianity, afraid of intellectuals, jingoistic, sexist…of course there are.

Can we safely assume that demographic is already on their side? Fabulous. So now, JSP just refers to the undecided voter and the folks they want to pull over from the other side.

That is to say, us.

So, Governor Palin et al, let me tell you who the Joe Six-Pack that you think you’re talking to really is.

Joe is the guy I worked with who served in Vietnam, worked construction, had four kids, thought Portland micro-brews were for hippies and weirdos — and told me one day about having to change churches, because “our pastor spends all his time talking about how bad the gays are, and I go to church for God, and I really don’t think God cares who you sleep with or who you marry.” Oh, and he went back to school at 45 to get a degree in architecture, so I guess he won’t be Joe Six-Pack soon. His income will put him into that Better Class of People y’all think you’re part of.

Joe is a writer or an actor or an artist who waits tables, pumps gas, shelves books, does landscaping, delivers pizza, scrubs toilets, and otherwise works his or her ass off all day or night to pay the mortgage so they can continue to write or act or make art. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, surprise surprise, everyone’s favorite hockey mom is apparently going down for “abuse of power” and ethics charges in Alaska. You betcha!

According to this article on CNN.com:

“Monegan said he was fired after refusing pressure to fire State Trooper Mike Wooten, who had gone through an acrimonious divorce and custody battle with Palin’s sister.

“Palin has repeatedly denied wrongdoing, describing Wooten as a “rogue trooper” who had threatened her family. Wooten denied the allegations.”

Interesting choice of words. I might have phrased it “maverick trooper.” All things considered.

These words from a recent editorial in The New Yorker suddenly ring truer than ever:

“Palin has no business being the backup to a President of any age, much less to one who is seventy-two and in imperfect health. In choosing her, McCain committed an act of breathtaking heedlessness and irresponsibility.”

Joe Six-Pack could not be reached for comment at press time.

- Louis Maistros

DISTURBING ADDENDUM:

The ORIGINAL version of the CNN.com article stated this:

“Palin had the authority as governor to fire him, the report by former Anchorage prosecutor Stephen Branchflower states.

“However, it states that her efforts to get Wooten fired broke a state ethics law that bars public officials from pursuing personal interest through official action.”

But the second line, that clearly states Palin “broke a state ethics law,” HAS BEEN REMOVED from the article! What gives?

LESS DISTURBING ADDENDUM:

This morning the sentence is back, but revised. I’m guessing I’m not the only one who noticed.

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http://louismaistros.com