I’M SO TIRE(D): blow outs and other signs of the times

Oct 9, 2006 by

if you have lived in, driven by, or passed through the big pothole — er, big easy — since august 29, 2005, you, like everybody else, have experienced the joy of nails, building materials, shrapnel, or some sort of unidentifiable refuse in your tires… it has been a goodyear indeed…NOT.

tire manufacturers seem to be in cahoots with FEMA…. the longer the debris remains, the more tires will be sold…. personally, i haven’t seen such a tire/ gov’t conspiracy since the buses replaced light rail and street cars across america (you know street cars need low maintenance, buses need tires, gas, oil, maintenance, and ultimately replacement)….speaking of buses…. maybe the reason why we didn’t use the buses is b/c they were on Tulane Ave. and couldn’t make a left turn (&%$#@?)…where’s Oliver Stone when you need him? Like we ever need him? hmmmmmm….

i have had 5 flats since the storm…. the latest was a doozy as i drove across the causeway at 1:30am saturday morning follwoing a surreal UN-BIRTHDAY gig in Covington, LA. (more on that another time) 8 miles on my trans-ponchartrain trek, i had a blowout as the belt ripped from my radial….. swerve swerve swerve,,, thump thump thump…. water, death etc. DESPITE the possible cancellation of the freddy fred show and inevitable bodily harm to yours truly, my nerves remained calm as my drivers ed instincts kicked in…. and i safely navigated to a turnaound…. sort of

i waited 90 minutes for a tow truck… made frantric calls to wife, AAA, and Mazda road care. Thoughts of lupe garou, serial killers, and landsharks danced in my head like sugar plum crossdressers (ok it was late and i was sleep deprived). To my combined joy and dismay (paranoia?), 4 cops visited perhaps thinking i was smuggling donuts, migrant workers, drugs, or books? (afterall we are in louisiana) when the wrecker finally arrived i had already loosened two bolts,,,, the rest beyond my diminutuve brawn, intellectual giant, mechanical dwarf….. i found out i was not covered on spouse’s AAA… (grr) the resulting bill for 4 loosened nuts….85 dollars plus 6 dollar toll….

perhaps i can forward the bill to George W, FEMA, Bill Jefferson, or Ray Nagin…. unless of course they’re doing something… BLOG THIS

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