Media Burn: Ringling Bros Does The News

Jan 30, 2007 by

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up for the Sickest Show on Earth! For the low price of your peace of mind you may see sights unknown to the First World!

In Blue Tarp Tent Number One you can watch the Dancing of the Politicos, an infernally complex arrangement of motions guaranteed to explore every direction except forwards! Watch local salaries for C Ray and his companions in the City Clown Car skyrocket into the stratosphere while nothing gets done! See a total lack of Republicans in the Courthouse Cage Battle! All the while our helpful concessions staff will enhance your enjoyment of the festivities with a steady stream of antidepressants and alcohol!

Meanwhile in Blue Tarp Tent Number Two watch the FEMA comedy act as it informs Americans everywhere that their own levees are the punchline! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss your ass goodbye! Then we will treat you to a spectacular show as MC Gold releases his uncut track, Just Shoot ‘Em, Who Cares?

These things don’t grab you, my friend? I see you are an entity of discerning tastes. Allow me to redirect you to the center tent, where you can absorb all the New Orleans news and flavor you could ever want! Join the teeming masses in salivating over the biggest press we have gotten yet, the F*CK DA EAGLES GIRL! Scantily clad in her shiny new photospread, this must be the most important thing going on!

So don’t stay stuck in the FEMA Trailer tonight, entertainment abounds! Come on out and see The Sickest Show on Earth tonight!

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