Jan 19, 2008 by

King Ronald Lewis Will Guide Mysterious New Route

KDV 2008 Map

Our magical city has a communications director named Quiett. Its web address is City Hall is located on Perdido Street – Spanish for lost. And you want to know where the misery comes from?

Indeed, it’s been quite a detour de force for the whole state and nation this year. Sen. Larry Craig crooned “Blew Gay Way”, while our own senator sang “David Vitter’s Lonely Whores Club Band”; then joined they both joined the entire Congress in “Fools on the Hill”.

A state judge refused to sing “Cleo Fields Forever”, but the New Orleans City Council did a rousing chorus of “I Am The Wal-Mart”. Oliver Thomas launched his solo career with “Can Buy My Love”, while our D.A. ended his with “Sgt. Eddie’s Only Honkies Banned”. Faint traces could occasionally be heard of Mayor Nagin’s “Nowhere Man”; Governor Blanco’s rendition of “Your Mother Should Know” never even made it on the charts; but people all over Louisiana were heard humming “Bobby in the State House With Dimples”. The new governor’s first hit release was “All We Need Is Cash”.

The walrus was appalled.

Many versions of “You Never Give Me My Money” were dedicated to the Roadblock Home people. Contractors everywhere belted out “Why Don’t We Dump It In The Road?”, while all of us here in K-Doeville found salvation with “We All Live In a Jello-Shot Machine”.

Taking full advantage of this string of chart-toppers, the bottom-dwellers of Krewe du Vieux have decided to embark upon a Magical Misery Tour. There will be new Twists on this year’s trek through Faubourg Marigny and French Quarter, which will be a loop of looped loopies that will end where it begins. Whether it goes anywhere or not, the parade will take place on the impossibly early date and time of Saturday, January 19 at 6:30 PM.

Playing chief tour guide will be King Ronald Lewis, who after 31 years of keeping streetcars on the straight and narrow path will now lead the Krewe down a bong and winding road. Mardi Gras Indian, founder of the House of Dance and Feathers, preserver of our culture, emperor in new suits, sultan of social aid and pleasure, King Ronald will reign over an amazing day in our life.

Detour will lead de Krewe to the new site for this year’s Krewe du Vieux Doo, 2121 Chartres Street. Doors open at 9:00 PM. This year’s nonstop lineup includes 101 Runners, Juice, J.D. Hill, and the Honey Island Swamp Band, with a special late night trip by Quintron and Miss Pussycat. The public is invited and forewarned. Tickets are $25 per person, available at the Louisiana Music Factory, 210 Decatur Street; Mardi Gras Zone, 2706 Royal Street; Miss Claudia’s Vintage Clothes and Costume Shop, 4204 Magazine Street; and Up in Smoke, 4507 Magazine Street.

The Krewe du Vieux’s seventeen subkrewes will each present their own magical, miserable, misguided, mysterious, maniacal, magnificent, and entirely imaginary interpretations of the theme. Subkrewes include the Krewe of C.R.U.D.E., Krewe of Space Age Love, Krewe of Underwear, Seeds of Decline, Krewe of Mama Roux, Krewe of L.E.W.D., Krewe of Drips and Discharges, Krewe of K.A.O.S., Knights of Mondu, T.O.K.I.N., Krewe Rue Bourbon, Krewe de C.R.A.P.S., Krewe of PAN, Mystic Krewe of Spermes, Krewe of Comatose, Mystic Krewe of Inane, and Krewe du Mishigas.

Also marching will be many of the city’s top brass bands. Showcasing the local brass band talent is one of the few Krewe du Vieux traditions not currently being considered as a strategy for “winning” the war in Iraq.

The Krewe du Vieux is a non-profit organization dedicated to the historical and traditional concept of a Mardi Gras parade as a venue for individual creative expression and satirical comment. It is unique among all Mardi Gras parades because it alone carries on the old Carnival traditions, by using decorated, hand or mule-drawn floats with satirical themes, accompanied by costumed revelers dancing to the sounds of jazzy street musicians. We believe in exposing the world to the true nature of Mardi Gras — and in exposing ourselves to the world.

Krewe du View Official Site-

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