finally, a bailout plan for homeowners

Oct 3, 2008 by

At long last, a proven bailout method designed specifically for struggling homeowners and NOT wealthy wallstreet tycoons.

Here is the official five-step homeowner bailout program:

Step one: Spend most of your life struggling to pay your mortgage, to the point where your are filled with absolute despair.

Step two: At the age of 90, when you are completely out of hope, be foreclosed on and evicted by the same heartless, money-grubbing bastards who you’ve been paying ridiculous interest to for many, many years.

Step three: When the sheriff’s department shows up to remove you from your home forcibly, attempt to end your own life by shooting yourself “at least twice in the upper body.”

Step four: Become famous for being a “symbol of the nation’s mortgage crisis.”

Step five: Fannie Mae will then forgive your mortgage and sign your house over to you.


I’m going to go be sick now. Have a nice day.

– Louis Maistros


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