Vittoriosa, Salve! *

Dec 22, 2008 by

Or, “Do You Mean to Tell Me Every Time I Blow Another Dude’s Wood, a Tree Falls in the Forest?

Dear Il Papa, courting irrelevancy to both the present and the future, is making news again, oh boy.

Pope Benedict XVI has said that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.

He explained that defending God’s creation is not limited to saving the environment, but also protecting man from self-destruction.

The pope was delivering his end-of-year address to senior Vatican staff.

His words, later released to the media, emphasized his total rejection of gender theory.

Hm, sounds like the beginnings of a blue print for a final solution.

Later, in an attempt to prove he could still “git down”, the pope criticized “the tendency to depict the Catholic Church’s World Youth Day, which he attended in Sydney earlier this year, as mere spectacle”.

He stressed that the event should not be considered a “variant of modern youth culture, as a kind of ecclesiastical rock festival with the Pope as the star,” but as the fruition of a “long exterior and interior path”.

No doubt he got all misty-eyed, remembering those long-ago rallies of his own youth.

Meanwhile, on the local front, a little gossip …

You ready? Okay.

What diminutive Prince of the Church was recently overheard asking a certain (ecclesiastically-acceptable homosexual) member of the musicians’ union if he would talk to a (certain) well-known local songstress/diva/star about covering up her massive rack of bazooms for the annual Caroling in the Square? Seems said (well-known) boobies were becoming too much of an attraction – I mean, a distraction – to the menfolk, keeping them from a proper edification of the cabbage-patch birth of baby Jesus, who, being the Son of God, certainly had no need of Mary’s immaculate breasts.

I wonder, did Jewish ladies have pumps back then?

Oh, well, I guess there really are two classes of people in the world. Those who can have their cake and eat it, too, and the rest of us who can’t.

Good night for now.

* Oops, I almost forgot … That title up there, “Vittoriosa, Salve!” Sounds pretty, no? It’s Italian for “Sieg Heil”.

– Bigezbear

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