Hostilidays: The International Edition
Loathe as I am to join this fray, I submit the following assault for your ocular and aural senses. It is Anders Matthesen’s Jul PÃ¥ Vesterbro (Christmas In Vesterbro) from his 2003-4 television series of the same name. JPV is the heartwarming story of a drunken, prostitute-addicted sailor, Stewart Stardust, whose hot dog stand is the target of international terrorists, hell-bent on using it to set off a bomb to destroy a United Nations meeting being held in Copenhagen, Denmark. And his junkie son has just moved back in with him after a stay in prison! It’s a classic!
The following video will take only five minutes off your life, so pour a cocktail and strike up a Chesterfield to make it half an hour!
Jul Pa Vesterbro
Now as I say, this is from the series but there’s an awesome rockin’ version of the song floating around out there for downloading. (Look for Stewart Stardust.) I’ve had it in my Yuletide rotation for about five years now and you should too! I mean… Danish Yuletide Rap? What could be cooler? For those of you who like a good sing-along, I provide a funtacular Google translation of the Danish lyrics. (By the way, a stesolid is a rectal tube enema thingy.)
Now it’s Christmas again and what do I care?
My life is in his autumn and there’s an ulcer on the way!
My gold tooth is broken and it’s not fucking funny to damn,
when you have a hemorrhoids as an egg!
And I have beds and paw degree and renal failure,
yellow teeth, liver cirrhosis, heart failure ledger!
I have a nightmare where my dog Rollo the Ask a fiddler
whether it should get me into heaven when it dies.
So hey, Lillemor?
(Go away!)
Do you decline?
(Go away!)
Waste of time, so grab a stesolid!
Of problems is enough of hverend you look
but what do I care? Now it’s Christmas again!
Anything can happen when it’s Christmas
and though our snow is yellow, it’s here!
(Hey!)
It vesterbro to bo
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
The city of all cities,
and even love are animals
it’s here!
(Hey!)
The Vesterbro to bo
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
Now it’s Christmas again, but when I shit on!
My mind is so dirty that it is able to walk,
and I owe 1000 dollars to a guy who wears leather vest,
my body is just as tainted as my criminal Atest!
Go to fucking jockingtøj and I wound my knuckles,
when I do not possess, I live with my father and mother.
And it’s winter – it confuses me with all that snow!
The other day I tried to sniff Frederiksberg Allé!
So hey, mom!
(Go away!)
Do you decline?
(Go away!)
Waste of time! So grab a stesolid!
Because it is a hundeliv living like a dog … or there
but the shit I then on, for now it’s Christmas again!
Anything can happen when it’s Christmas
and though our snow is yellow, it’s here!
(Hey!)
It is best to stay
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
There is no one bothered to taste my Harkebouldawiershee-te!
My 2CV’er have stolen its wheels,
and Lone proceeded yesterday with a guy named Helgi!
So you can just choose to wallow in sorrow and be bitter,
of which has hardened lens soup on my new sweater!
I worked hard to commune, even though I get almost no salary!
The only running for me – my pageboy!
So hey, Vivian!
Waste of time! So grab a stesolid!
It can be difficult to be master of social manages my friend
but the hedge-fucking-Feldt with it for now it’s Christmas again! HA!
Anything can happen when it’s Christmas
and though our snow is yellow, it’s here!
(Hey!)
It is best to stay
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
The city of all cities,
and even love are animals
it’s here!
(Hey!)
The Vesterbro to bo
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
Anything can happen when it’s Christmas
and though our snow is yellow, it’s here!
(Hey!)
It is best to stay
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
The city of all cities,
and even love are animals
it’s here!
(Hey!)
The Vesterbro to bo
(Ho!)
Now it’s Christmas at Vesterbro!
-M Styborski
Related Posts
Tags
Share This
