Why A Duck?

Dec 23, 2013 by

The post title comes from a classic bit of dialogue between Groucho and Chico Marx in Cocoanuts. Chico was a master of malaprops, chaos, and confusion and there’s been a lot of that in the Phil Robertson quack up flap. I’ve written a couple of posts about it at First Draft that you can see here and here.

I know, you’re probably tired of hearing about it, but one of the stupidest reactions came from a guy who wants to be our next Governor, Jay Dardenne:

Lt. Gov. Jay Dardenne said Saturday that Louisiana will help connect the unscripted television juggernaut “Duck Dynasty” with new producers if the show’s stars, the Robertson family, cannot resolve their differences with the A&E network over controversial comments made by patriarch Phil Robertson to GQ magazine. “If the Robertson family cannot come to an agreement with A&E and wants to continue the show, Louisiana already has the infrastructure in place to maintain their record-breaking program,” Dardenne said.

“Duck Dynasty”, the most popular show ever on cable television, is set in and around West Monroe and helps drive the state’s tourism industry. If the show doesn’t continue, it would hurt the state economy, said Dardenne, whose public job includes promoting Louisiana tourism.

The lieutenant governor does not envision state government getting directly involved in “Duck Dynasty” production or giving extra financial subsidies to show, although the series is probably already taking advantage of state film tax credits. Instead, he offered to connect the Robertsons with people who might be able to continue “Duck Dynasty” if the family no longer works with A&E.

I believe this is called pandering. I have a feeling that the Robertsons can hook up with some producers without the Lt. Gov’s help. Dardenne does know that they’re filthy rich posers who grew their scraggly beards and greasy hair for the teevee machine, doesn’t he? I suspect he does. Besides, the show is already a recipient of corporate welfare aka the so-called Hollywood South tax credits. That, however, is another issue for another day. Jeez, I sound like an old Macca ditty. Woo.

The most depressing thing about this is that Dardenne isn’t stupid and isn’t a tea party extremist. He’s also not an asshole like the current Governor, or one of his likely opponents, David Vitter aka Bitter Vitter or Diaper Dave. I guess Dardenne saw a chance for a quick and easy pander to the biblethumpers who are suspicious of him because he actually reads books without pictures in them and has a sense of humor. Horrors.

I’ve always considered Dardenne to be a fairly reasonable and reasonably moderate Conservative. I can still visualize holding my nose and voting for him in a run-off against Bitter Vitter. He just, however, made that a bit harder with this pander to the know nothings who think that the faux Bubba messiah has a constitutional right to a reality teevee show. Sigh.

The good news is that all Dardenne is doing is pandering. At least he recognizes that the Gret Stet was hell on earth for black folks during the Jim Crow days. Some of his fellow Gopers think that Phil Robertson is the new Rosa Parks. In the immortal words of Groucho: “Why? I’ll never know.” One thing I do know for sure is that, like Chico, I know that there’s no such thing as Sanity Clause:


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