Long Division

Jan 11, 2014 by

Saints LogoLast Episode…

The Saints can’t win on the road. Or outdoors. In cold weather. Yeah, I guess you told me…

Saints 27 – 507 yards: 387 passing, 120 rushing
Actual 26 – 435 yards: 250 passing, 185 rushing
Eagles 25 – 456 yards: 289 passing, 167 rushing
Actual 24 – 275 yards: 195 passing, 80 rushing

What was that I said about the only way we win is by not turning the ball over last week? Well, I’ve been wrong before. I stand by that statement though, so let’s try not to test the Who-Dat pacemakers this week, okay?

I decided to scrap my analysis of last week. It was pretty boring though I did have some pretty freaking awesome stuff about David Hawthorne, Cam Jordan and Junior Galette. Mostly that they’re pretty freaking awesome! Instead I’ve decided to filk some Walt Whitman for you. My only apology is for cutting it down from seventeen verses.

With apologies to Walt Whitman, not for the kipe, but for cutting it down from seventeen verses.

The Song of the Road Game

Afoot and light-hearted, I take to the open road game,
Pumped, crunked, the playoffs before me,
The long green turf before me, leading to New Jersey.

Henceforth I ask not good-fortune–I myself am good-fortune;
Henceforth I fumble no more, turn over no more, yield nothing,
Strong and intense, I travel the open road game.

The faith–that is sufficient;
I do not want the opposition any nearer;
I know they are very well where they are;
I know they suffice for those who root for them.

(Still here I carry my old pernicious road records;
I carry them, wins and losses–I carry them with me wherever I go;
I swear it is impossible for me to get rid of them;
I am defy’d by them, and I will defy them in return.)

–    –    –

The efflux of the road game is victory–here is victory;
I think it pervades the open-stadium air; waiting at all times;
Now it flows unto us–we are rightly charged!

Here rises the pride and attaching dignity;
The pride and attaching dignity is the freshness and sweetness of man and ball;
(The turf of the morning sprouts no fresher and sweeter every day out of the soil, than it sprouts fresh and sweet continually out of itself.)

Toward the pride and attaching dignity exudes the cheering of the fans, of the young and old;
From it falls distill’d the success that mocks predictions and naysayers;
Toward it heaves the shuddering longing ache of vindication.

–    –    –

Allon-zee! The road game is before us!
It is dangerous–I have tried it–my own cleats have tried it well.
Alon-zee! Be not penalized!
Let the flags remain on the hip unthrown, and the yards on the turf unassessed!
Let their offense remain on the sideline! Let their points remain unearn’d!
Let the play stand! Mind not the cry of the zebra!
Let the fan scream from his bleacher! Let the coach complain in his post-game and let the analyst expound the rules!

Mon Who-Dat! I give you my faith!
I give you my faith, more precious than love,
I give you myself before records and stats;
Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?
Shall we stick by each other as long as we live?

Week 19
The Machine disagrees with my faith this week (by only two points) so I’m rolling my own score. Considering the history of “payback” playoff games, the Saints should manhandle the Seahawks 48-24 but I’m not letting myself go nuts here. What I will call is a very busy day in the Seahawk  backfield for Jordan and Galette and for my Crazy Polock Prediction I’ve got Khiry Robinson for a 50+ yard TD run somewhere in the second half. WHO-DAT!!

Saints 29 – 451 yards: 325 passing, 126 rushing
Seahawks 24 – 416 yards: 261 passing, 155 rushing

-M

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