Malaka Of The Week: Drew Ward

Feb 3, 2014 by

This is a feature I’ve been doing for years. First at my former eponymous blog and now at First Draft. Malaka is a Greek word for a wanker, a jerk-off. But it is used by Greeks in the same way that we use the word fuck. It’s an all-purpose swear word. End of brief introduction.

Here at Humid City this feature will focus on local malakatude. There was a lot of it last weekend because of our local election. One person, however, stands heads and shoulders above the other prospects. Drew Ward who got his noisy, whiny ass kicked by Susan Guidry in the District A Council race.

A disclaimer. I’ve met Ward in the company of our mutual friend Lamar White. He seemed like a reasonably nice guy but it appears as if he needs a distemper shot. The candidate lost his shit on Twitter the other day and sounded more like a potty mouthed blogger than someone who wants one’s vote:


That was Ward’s first salvo. Here is his second:



Ward is young so perhaps I’m being too hard on him. Nah. He got 10% of the vote to Councilmember Guidry’s 66.8. It was all very predictable; especially since he insisted running as a progressive Republican. He may be the last one in the country. Hell, even John Georges had the sense to not run as a Goper in New Orleans.

Ward’s twitter feed is full of claims that he has evidence of people removing his signs. When I pressed him to put up or shut up, he did neither. He keeps changing his story. Sometimes there are pictures online but other times we’re told to let the police do their job. In a town with real crime why should they waste time on a spoiled brat’s charges of minor political sabotage? It’s ludicrous.

If Ward had any sense at all, he would withdraw his charges and apologize personally to Ms. Guidry for calling her a “lying bitch” instead of muttering vaguely about how he shouldn’t have used that phrase to the world at large.  I couldn’t find the exact tweet, but he’s not worth any more time than I’ve already spent on this malakatudinous nonsense.

The other thing that happened in my exchange with Malaka Sore Loserman is that he told me to do an online search for his “evidence.” I suggested that he post it where he leveled the charges, on Twitter. I don’t work for him, after all. Still nothing as of this writing.

Here’s the deal. Even if the signs were removed by opponents of Ward’s, he should suck it up, act like an adult and stop throwing this epic tantrum. He’s like an arsonist with a can of gasoline, pouring it on the fire of his own defeat. And that’s why Drew Ward is Malaka of the Week.

I’ll let Graham Parker have the last word:

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