We Fix Your Brand: 10 Carly Fiorina

Sep 12, 2015 by

Say, aren’t there some women somewhere in politics? Indeed, there are. And Carly Fiorina is one of them, or rather, she’d like to be. And she currently has some caché, recently being added to the RNC’s top tier debate club. Good for her! Let’s see what we can do to help her name recognition! Here’s her initial offering:

What was wrong with this?

What was wrong with this?

Well, nothing per se, but there are a few minor issues. First, the gradient is borderline blah. Carly is another Republican trying to escape the use of red in her brand. It’s a popular trend this year considering how many Republicans are fronting Democratic blue, but this deep sea tone is just a trifle murky for our tastes. And while the text treatment is quite well done, Fiorina has taken a trip down the diva highway, running on the strength of one name. Unfortunately the name she picked carries the strength of a twelve year old schoolgirl just trying to balance math class and a prom date. It can’t be helped, really, thanks to the Disney Channel. Damn shame the kids that watched that show aren’t old enough to vote yet.

Carly appears to be running from her last name, like many other candidates this cycle, but in her case I think it’s more likely because whatever treatment you give to Fiorina, it almost always looks like a fashion ad. Trouble is, when Carly changed her brand a few months back, despite eschewing her Italian monicker, she still ended up with a fashion ad!

Macy's is having a sale!

Macy’s is having a sale!

Worse, worse, worse, worse, WORSE! This looks like she’s trying on Rick Perry’s brainy glasses! Look at me, I’m smart, I’m hip, I’m ever so trendy! Blecch! And she’s apparently gone from caring about America to simply wanting to almost be President. We say ‘almost’ because the words ‘For President’ are lightly dusted underneath her name like confectioner’s sugar on a Christmas cookie! Carly! (For President. Shhh! It’s a secret!) And it disappears into the background even further on her website:

Aiyeee! She's going to eat my baby!

Aiyeee! Mrs Nosferatu is going to eat my baby!

Other than the silent-but-deadly ‘For President’ and the terror inducing photo of gnashing teeth, this isn’t too bad a page. Unless you notice [and how can you not] the bulbous, freaking huge FOX News microphone placed unobtrusively [sarcasm alert] under the “One of us! One of us! One of us!” button! This is blatant pandering to both the low-thought, right wing base and the main Republican debate sponsor. Tacky, tacky. But we’re here for the brand, so…

It's a mash-up of stuff, but unmistakably political!

It’s a mash-up of typical campaign stuff, but unmistakable.

Our advice: Let your ambition and ego take a backseat to the people, like a true leader might do. Use the alliteration and near-rhyme God gave you. Meaningless stuff like this has a way of taking hold of the collective voter sub-concious; Tippecanoe and Tyler Too! Keep Cool With Coolidge! I Like Ike! Fiorina For America! Well… it’s as close as you’re going to get. Grab ahold.

This is a simple, clean design with an almost military look. That’s definitely something you could use, Carly. Your last name in big, bold, right wing red, alliteratively paired with a true blue For America, italicized for a touch of the human. And a stern and stalwart Carly 2016 with the stripes, star and field in all the correct colors! No, it doesn’t have the classy Macy’s ad vibe of your current logo, but that’s actually the point. However, if you think this is too political-looking [for a presidential campaign] then we recommend combining the original design and slogan you began with, [replacing Carly with Fiorina–you can even use the star in the A,] with the Carly 2016 beneath it. We didn’t work this one up, though, because we’re incredibly lazy and there’s a gin bottle calling us. But if you call first…

-M Styborski

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