Ladies and Gentles, Louisiana’s very own tanned titmouse, Governor Bobby Cut-And-Paste!
Yes, yes we believe that we have…
Mm hm. Three red stripes, curved blue bar, Gotham typefeace… At least you picked a winner! And while Obama went to Hoefler for a custom serified version of Gotham, that’s the sans version there in the dotcom. Copy. Paste. Just like your legislation, editorials, media sound-bytes, Facebook posts and even your nickname. All ghostwritten by ALEC, Norquist, Mills, and others or simply lifted from whatever candidate said whatever it was the day before you did. Shabby, Bobby. Shabby. So because you’re a contemptible copycat we didn’t really do anything for you but add some legibility that enabled a larger and more visible brand.
Oh, yeah, and we took out those three stars. Most of the people we’ve spoken to think it looks like you’re trying to put a tuxedo on a pig. We think that’s unfair considering those stars are supposed to represent The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, right? And we bet you told your kids those stars represented them! Don’t sweat it. Kids are dumb. They can’t tell you’re fibbing to them! But we didn’t want to leave you starless, so we put one where it should have been all along: Rising from the J! You can even scrape off the “Bobby” when you get tired of sounding and acting like a six year old child and the remaining design works perfectly!
We really could have spent more time on this, refined it, but fuck you.
Ordinarily at this point we ask the candidate to call us in a half-joking manner, but we’ll pass here. See you in the lobby.