Warning and Disclaimer

 THE WARNING: The contents of this page may prove offensive to republicans, Trump cultists, objectivists, socialists, theocrats, flat earthers, Ron Paul supporters, the kinder, the gentler, the gullible, the innocent, the good, the bad, the ugly, government workers who feel that the Department of Homeland Security consists a worthwhile use of public funds, ministers of cultural identity, carpetbaggers, scalawags, members of the gator express riders union local 23, who have been locked out since September 16, 1870, unwed fifteen-year-old moms with three or more children, trustafarians from the West, Allstate Insurance, sticker-shock counselors and the recipients of government grants for underwater ballet. At least, I certainly hope so.


Any resemblance between the views on these pages and those of my employer, my internet provider, my terminal, my ex-wife, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this disclaimer.)

Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand-wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Batteries not included. Slippery when wet. Void where prohibited. Do not puncture, incinerate or store above 123 degrees Fahrenheit. Keep away from open flames and open water. Your mileage may vary. Other restrictions may apply. Offer good for a limited time only.

By visiting this website you agree not to hold Loki, any contributor of HumidCity, or their employees, agents, assassins, or assigns responsible in any way for health problems of any kind whatsoever related to or arising from the use of the product enclosed herein, including, but not limited to: schizophrenia, delusions, paranoia, fugue, road home obstruction, dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality disorder), housing evaporation, spontaneous human combustion, post-traumatic stress disorder, insomnia, neurasthenia, vampirism, zombie-ism, amnesia, morbid obesity, xenopharmacophilia, anaphylactic shock, obsessive-compulsive disorder, feline leukemia, anorexia nervosa, glossolalia, hysterical paralysis, necrotizing fasciitis, repetitive self-harm syndrome, multi-infarct dementia, ennui, lycanthropy, agoraphobia, altheofficinaliphobia, annuletophobia, FEMAphobia, batrachophobia, cibophobia, epistemophobia, lactophobia, myxophobia, and/or nyctophobia. Are you still reading this? What is wrong with you?